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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26016811">Just a Platypus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tox/pseuds/phinflynn'>phinflynn (Tox)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phineas and Ferb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Incest, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:41:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26016811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tox/pseuds/phinflynn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, he's just a platypus. They don't do much.</p><p>In which Perry contemplates the gravity of his boys' relationship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ferb Fletcher/Phineas Flynn, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>205</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just a Platypus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>another rewrite/rework of an old fic! 2012 yet again for this one. i remember liking this premise a lot.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Perry had worried for them, in the beginning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the only one who knew for such a long time. And why not? He was just a platypus; they didn't do much. They certainly didn't catch you kissing your brother and judge you for it. They were fairly simple animals, after all, concerned more with food and swimming than the implications of a taboo relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys never felt the need to hide themselves around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vividly he could recall the day he had come into their room, intent upon chewing on a pillow until he was fed, and suddenly being met with the sight of Phineas shoving his tongue down Ferb's throat. He had stood perfectly still as they tugged each other's hair and whispered amorously between kisses, dread pooling in his gut. Then Phineas turned to him, and as if nothing was wrong, he simply said, "Oh, there you are, Perry!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry had never wished so fervently that he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had wondered, for a time, if perhaps he had walked in on something that wouldn't happen again. Maybe it was an invention of theirs. Maybe it was a dare. Maybe Doofenshmirtz had done something. His head was filled with </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybes </span>
  </em>
  <span>as his owners went about their days as though nothing were amiss. Of course, as the weeks went by, he saw more and more of their newfound intimacy, and over time he was able to piece together the basic gist of how it had happened — puberty combined with their own natural chemistry had simply pushed them together. Unable to ask them for more detail, he had to concede that he would likely never know more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over time, Perry found himself disappearing on days even when Doofenshmirtz was up to nothing. It just bothered him too much, too deeply, to be in their bedroom when they were a tangled mess of limbs muttering fervent 'I love you's. It wasn't that he was disgusted — he was merely upset, and worried. This would be bad for them. It would </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt </span>
  </em>
  <span>them. It would change everything, and his wonderful little family would split right down the middle. There was no way it could go right, and that terrified him. They didn't know what they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could be strong in the face of many situations. He was, after all, Secret Agent Perry the Platypus. Yet the thought of losing his family was a nightmare in and of itself, the sort of scenario he’d never be able to bounce back from. If this went wrong, he may as well be losing them; there was no telling of the bonds that would be severed, not just between Phineas and Ferb, but between them and the rest of their family as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some days, Perry went to Doofenshmirtz's apartment just to be sure he was even less likely to run into his boys and be forced to face the issue. His nemesis was surprised by these visits, and even more so by the fact that his little platypus rival seemed more interested in curling up in a ball on the couch than trying to foil anything (not that there was anything to foil on many of those days). Perry could see that Doofenshmirtz was actually a little worried about him; it was nice to have someone react to his emotions, given that the OWCA cared little and he didn’t have much of anyone else who was able to notice. Doofenshmirtz would sometimes go so far as to pet him, just a little, and tell him everything would be okay. That was always nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were only so many times he could escape, though. He still had to be home, still had to be the family pet. No matter his worries, no matter how emotionally troubled he felt, he had to protect his people from the various dangers of Danville. In the end, he was glad he was able to do so — that was the only way he was able to overcome his turmoil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One night, after a long day of staring hopelessly out of Doofenshmirtz's window while his nemesis droned on and on about something that had happened in the past, Perry ended up in Phineas and Ferb's bedroom while the two were elsewhere in the house. He was busy digging around under one of the beds for some food he had seen Ferb drop the night before (while perfectly capable of going to a five star restaurant if he pleased, Perry was still content nibbling on the leftovers of his family). As he searched for the morsel, he heard the door open, heard the double footsteps of his boys, and looked up apprehensively as the bed creaked under their weight. He had been trying to avoid this, and them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you ever think we're gonna have to come out with this? You know, just tell everyone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Perry thought, his stomach sinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was silence from Ferb, as always, and Perry listened as Phineas went on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, I'm okay with this, the way it is, but... you know, sometimes I just wanna do what comes naturally in </span>
  <em>
    <span>public</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It's kinda weird reminding myself to stop and think before I hold your hand."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We do live in a rather accepting area," came Ferb's voice, tentatively optimistic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Accepting or not, the people closest to us will be pretty freaked out, don't you think?" The worry in Phineas's voice made Perry feel awful. As much as he didn't like what was going on, his boys would always come first, and it pained him to hear Phineas talking like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitated, considering his options, and then backed out from under the bed and chattered loudly to announce his presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas observed with much less enthusiasm than usual, and before Perry could attempt to climb on the bed, he was being lifted into the air and set down in the small gap between the two boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully Perry took in the scene before him. While their hips were apart, allowing him enough room to comfortably sit between them, their shoulders were touching and Ferb was resting his head on top of Phineas's. Perry attempted to keep his expression neutral as the gravity of the situation sank into him once more. He was just a platypus. Just a simple platypus with no thoughts and no worries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"At least we have Perry," Phineas said with a small smile as he ran his hand over their pet's head. "He'll never stop loving us."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that was true, at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Phineas," Ferb murmured, chastising. "Don't you </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>think that anyone will stop loving us for this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry chattered softly. He could agree with that as well. There might be anger, dismay... but never </span>
  <em>
    <span>hatred</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He knew most everyone in his boys' lives very well by that point. They largely weren’t spiteful people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phineas sighed and looked over at his brother with an expression that clearly painted his worry and fear, an expression that perfectly mimicked Perry's own concerns. He’d never stopped to consider that either of them might actually understand the weight of it all — that they might have their own fears concerning their relationship. And in that moment, Perry realized that Phineas was not rushing into this as a lust-blinded teenager; he was stepping into it as </span>
  <em>
    <span>Phineas, </span>
  </em>
  <span>full of boundless optimism, but not stupidity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Even if they don't hate us," he whispered, "they'll see us differently. I guess... I guess I'm afraid of that. I don't want them to think we've changed. Nothing's changed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ferb, ever silent, merely pulled his brother closer and gently pet his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wave of guilt washed over Perry as he watched his boys. How foolish he was to think they’d really blundered into this with no thought at all; that wasn’t like them. Phineas could be impulsive, and Ferb usually followed, but this was not something to be taken lightly and they </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>that. He should have known they would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly overcome with how much he loved them, Perry stood up and carefully climbed over the limbs of his boys until he was close enough to lay on Ferb's chest and put his head under Phineas's chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aww, Perry," Phineas laughed. "Don't worry, boy, we'll be okay. I mean, we always are, right?" Perry glanced up as Phineas looked over at Ferb for reassurance. There was no reply, but when Perry lowered his head again he heard the distinct sound of sloppy teenage kissing. He shuddered out of habit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much," he heard Ferb say, and he closed his eyes as the boys moved even closer and embraced with him right in the middle. Perry allowed himself to relax, and he told himself that this would be okay, and he could trust Phineas and Ferb to handle this with the care it deserved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at him, he's going to sleep," Phineas chuckled softly. "You like cuddling, huh Perry? Or do you just have a thing for romance?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were hands on him again, from both of them this time. Perry let out a small sigh and wiggled his body a little so he was nestled perfectly against his boys, determined to never be apart from them again — well, until Doofenshmirtz needed to be foiled, anyway. In any case, he wouldn't leave just to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>away </span>
  </em>
  <span>from them. They needed someone who would be there, someone to appreciate them regardless of what they were doing, and perhaps because of it, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everything will be okay," Ferb said. "There's nothing we can't do if we set our minds to it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phineas laughed, and Perry was relieved to hear it, happy and light. "Maybe we should just build something! I bet you could come up with some gadget that would make everything work out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Perhaps a device that makes people positively giddy around any sort of romance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry sighed again and allowed the exhaustion of the day to sink into him. It felt good to not have to pick between them for once; he liked being with them both at the same time. Maybe this would be a change for the better. Maybe... this was just how it was supposed to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As sleep began to overtake him, Perry could hear the warm voice of Phineas above him, bubbling with excitement and adoration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today..."</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Ah, Perry the Platypus!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of adopting a fighting stance, Perry merely waved, then walked further into the apartment and hopped up onto the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heinz Doofenshmirtz closed the front door and walked over to stand near his nemesis. "You know, Perry the Platypus, at first I was a little weirded out by these visits, but I'm kind of starting to enjoy them!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry looked up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, but where are my manners," Doofenshmirtz went on. "Would you like anything? Coffee, maybe? Oh, I've got these doughnuts from a new shop that just opened downtown, they're absolutely delicious! You must try one, Perry the Platypus."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doofenshmirtz walked out of the room, and Perry grabbed the remote from the coffee table and switched on the television. If he recalled correctly, one of his favorite soap operas was coming on about now and it had been a while since he'd had time to catch up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doofenshmirtz returned with a box of doughnuts and set them down on the table before joining his nemesis on the couch. Perry glanced up at him again, then took the glazed doughnut that was handed to him and nibbled cautiously on the edge. It tasted good, so he gave Doofenshmirtz a thumbs up before scarfing it down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Manners, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz chided. "Chew with your mouth closed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry chattered apologetically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a comfortable silence between them for a few minutes as they watched the soap opera together and whittled down the amount of doughnuts in the box. When the commercials came on, Doofenshmirtz broke the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sooo</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Perry the Platypus," he began, hands clasped together as he grinned at his nemesis. "You seem much more chipper today! Has your life finally taken a turn for the better?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry thought back to his night with the boys. Yes, his life definitely had taken a turn for the better. He was coming to terms with the fact that his owners were truly happy, and they would be able to handle themselves no matter what happened. He still worried, of course, but much less now. He believed in Phineas and Ferb. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusted </span>
  </em>
  <span>them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So in response, he smiled at Doofenshmirtz.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's wonderful!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "You're so hard to be around when you're sad, Perry the Platypus. You're just not you. And to be perfectly honest you're the only platypus I'm close to, and when you're not you it's just not very comfortable." He paused, then put his hands on his hips and looked down at Perry. "Wait. If you're happy, why are you here? I thought that was the only reason you were coming over."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry blinked slowly, then reached over to take another doughnut. He chewed it carefully as they maintained eye contact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Doofenshmirtz grinned as wide as he could and scooped his nemesis into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I knew you cared about me, Perry the Platypus!" he gushed as Perry struggled in his grip. "It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>about more than just the foiling! You really </span>
  <em>
    <span>care!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry spit out the rest of his doughnut and growled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, don't be like that," Doofenshmirtz huffed as he set Perry down in his lap. "It's okay, Perry the Platypus, I enjoy your company too. You're the best nemesis I've ever had! I mean, I've only ever had one other nemesis. Well, two, if you count Planty the Potted Plant. But my point is..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perry sighed heavily as Doofenshmirtz went on, finding himself reluctantly relaxing as the large hand on his back affectionately pet him from head to tail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have worried more about himself, he realized in shame. He knew less about romance than his boys did.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Looks like I'll need that new invention of theirs</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Perry thought as his nemesis massaged his shoulder blades. </span>
</p><p> </p>
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